Maria Selena does the bikini shot!

Confounding her critics and delighting her fans, Indonesia’s entrant into this year’s Miss Universe has seemingly managed to pull off (sic) the impossible – the risqué bikini shot!

It’s an image that sends the blood pulse racing and should, at the very least, guarantee the Javanese head turner a lot more respect and attention. Whether it will help her win the contest remains to be seen – she is up against a lot of stiff competition in that regard – but the lovely Maria should definitely be in contention. Well done that girl!

Hantu Budeg film review

As corny as a pack of Tortilla chips, Hantu Budeg is yet another addition to Indonesia’s growing library of silly horror films.

Hantu Budeg film

In this particular case, the film’s plot – if you can call it that – revolves about a young girl named Ayu, who is left heartbroken by her husband after he dumps her for another woman staying in the nearby Cempaka Hotel.

Ayu’s response to her unfortunate predicament is, however, a tad excessive: she kills herself with the help of her grandfather (don’t ask why).

Subsequently she becomes a ghost – and a particularly vindictive one at that – as she goes on a brutal killing spree at the hotel.

And noone is spared her wrath.

Not even the inimitable Tyas Mirasih!

Tyas Mirasih

Hantu Budeg stars (sic) Tyas Mirasih, Keith Foo, Amel Alvie, Awang Sogi, Febriyanie, Zidni Adam, and Anie Klaus.

Tali Pocong Perawan 2 film review

Another dicey horror-cum-smut bonanza for the jilted generation.

Tali Pocong Perawan 2 film review

If you had to get this down your throat, you’d gag too.

The plot revolves around a shy, young woman (Tania) who is too embarrassed to approach the guy at the office she has fallen in love with (Jordy).

All is not lost, however, as Tania has a hot neighbor (Janet) who comes up with the novel idea of using the fabric cord hanging off a virgin Pocong (*) in a bid to get Jordy’s attention.

So what does Tania do? Well, what any women in her situation would do! She simply wanders down to the local cemetery where a young virgin has – conveniently for her – just been buried and digs up the body and takes the fabric cord.

From here on in, it’s just gore and smut all the way.

Kudos must be given to the producers, however, who choose two of Indonesia’s hottest actresses at the moment: the heavily tattooed and temperamental sexpot Nikita Mirzani and the equally rumbustious Wiwid Gunawan.

Wiwid Gunawan

Nikita Mirzani

Apparently, according to Detik, cinema goers will have to show their identity cards to be allowed to watch this one. Whether this is because the film is genuinely scary or just a pile of horrendous vomit inducing bollocks is not yet clear.

Just be warned okay?

Tali Pocong Perawan 2 opened at Jakarta cinemas on 18 October 2012.

Besides Nikita Mirzani and Wiwid Gunawan, the cast also includes Bella Espearance, Kartika Putri and Framly Daniel Nainggolan.

(*) a pocong is an Indonesian ghost that is said to be the soul of a dead person trapped in their suit. More on that here.

Ten signs you are too drunk by Novi Amelia

1) Aged 25, you think Spongebob is still cool

2) You can focus better with one eye closed.

3) You decide to go to Ancol in the early hours because the fun park there will make you happy.

4) You think you look better in your underwear (actually you do but that’s besides the point).

sexy Novie Amelia bikini

5) You have never taken drugs on purpose but you still want to go to rehab anyway.

6) You’re not worried about drinking and driving as your Honda Jazz has a molded plastic compartment especially for your bottle of Chivas Regal.

7) You think that tattoo on your left ankle actually now looks quite nice and sophisticated.

8) You think the place where they kept you handcuffed overnight and took pictures of you virtually naked was really a “role play” hotel.

9) You’re not that worried they will treat your depression by prescribing you Prosac. #Irony.

10) You think the publicity generated by your trials and tribulations will give your modeling career a fresh impetus…

Tiara Lestari marries a German!!!

gambar Tiara Lestari sexy
Famous for her legendary Playboy and Penthouse photoshoots, the former Javanese model Tiara Lestari gave it all up to get married and quickly vanished from the public eye.

Unfortunately for her, however, her marriage ended acrimoniously in 2011 and, for a while at least, she became one of Indonesia’s most desirable divorcees.

Many must have made advances while she was single. But there could only be one winner.

A lucky man named….

… Stephen Oelkers from Germany!

Happily in love and giving the bird

And now married on 17 June 2012 in Munich!

According to the Rakyat Merdeka newspaper, Stephen Oelkers is no stranger to Indonesia and has lived in Jakarta for some time.

But although it’s not clear what he does in Jakarta, Stephen appears to be doing very well for himself as he lives in a Rp10 billion house and has two luxury cars – a BMW and Vellfire.

Whether Tiara’s only child from her previous marriage (Rania) will move in with the happy couple is not clear, however. This is because Tiara and her former hubbie Andy Syarief are currently engaged in a bitter fight for their daughter’s custody.

Adding to the acrimony, Tiara has even accused Andy of failing to make promised maintenance payments.

Let’s just hope that’s not true.

Otherwise Tiara may have to take off her clothes again! Hahaha!!!!

Mr Bean Kesurupan Depe Movie Review

Just when you thought Indonesian cinema couldn’t plummet new depths...It has!

This time the screen shenanigans are brought to us in a locally-made comedy-horror flick which features the buxom talents of Dewi Perssik, a well seasoned dangdut singer turned ahem “actress”, and England’s Mr Bean.

Mr Bean Kesurupan Depe Movie Review

Only it’s not really Mr Bean. But it is! Well sort of…

Cos what these filmmaking masters of deception have done is to make a film featuring someone who calls himself Mr Bean, but is, in fact, someone other than Rowan Atkinson!

Well how very clever!

The Facebook page of the real Mr Bean has even issued a stark warning to anyone thinking of going to see the film:

"We have just heard that there is a new film out in Indonesia with 'Mr Bean' in the title.

"Please be aware that it has nothing to do with with your beloved Mr Bean or Mr Rowan Atkinson so please avoid being disappointed."

But such misrepresentation is par for the course in Indonesia, where counterfeit goods are widely on sale, and I doubt whether many in the cinema will feel too aggrieved…

Mr Bean Kesurupan Depe

Mr Bean may be fake but Depe has guaranteed hers are not! Hahaha!

Neng Wulan and what women wear

I adore simple pleasures. They are the last refuge of the complex.
~Oscar Wilde

As expected I suppose, the dark forces of conservatism are warning against the impending visit of US superstar Lady Gaga to these hallowed shores:

"I call on Lady Gaga to respect Indonesia’s cultural and traditional values. Most people here cannot tolerate her revealing outfits and sexy performances. Please do not destroy our nation's morality and ruin our dignity.”

Hmm. I wonder what he means by that? And how has the country’s dignity not already been ruined by the raucous exhibitionism of Indonesia’s home grown starlets like Mela Barbie, who titillate the masses at gaudy dangdut concerts?

So why pick on a foreigner?

This assault on Lady Gaga comes shortly after a much ridiculed proposal by an Indonesian minister to ban miniskirts - citing them as “pornographic”.

This raises questions, of course, as to what yardstick these people are using to measure pornography:

"Well, we still haven't established the criteria, but we know pornography when see it," said the minister. "There should be general criteria, for example skirts worn by women must flow past the knees."

Well I don’t think he can see any further than his nose.

Which is probably a good thing too.

Neng Wulan has set the Indonesian modeling world ablaze with her devastating lingerie photoshoot.

Karolin Margret Natasa (PDIP) video tape

Karolin Margret Natasa is a member of the Indonesian Parliament representing the Indonesian Democratic Party of Struggle (PDIP).

She represents West Kalimantan and in her professional life she is a doctor.

Karolin also sits on Commission 9 at the House of Representatives.

But the beautiful politician is now making the headlines for the wrong reasons: her alleged performance in a very steamy 3gp video tape.

Way to go!!!!

Karolin Margret Natasa (PDIP)

Karolin Margret Natasa (PDIP)

Karolin Margret Natasa (PDIP)

Karolin Margret Natasa (PDIP)

Zahra Jasmine: a sweet morsel

He rolls it under his tongue as a sweet morsel.
~Matthew Henry

Zahra Jasmine may have a sweet name.

But don’t be fooled.

Because she also has a WILD side to her as well!

1) She’s not afraid to strip off. “I love to see my face and body in a photo. Many people say my photos are sexy. Well, yes, I like to show my sensual side. I want people (guys presumably: ed) to appreciate my work as art and not with naughty thoughts or with lust (well that might not always be the case!: ed). My work is art.”

2) She likes sex. “yes, sex is nice, but for me it’s sacred. That means it must be based on love, undertaken on the basis of mutual love. In this way, sex is beautiful and enjoyable and also comforting. Not like torture (she obviously doesn’t like S&M! Hahaha!: ed).

3) And she likes guys. “A guy brings color into a woman’s life. He makes her complete. He can be made to feel sad, happy, jealous or angry. In short, a guy makes a woman understand the meaning of love…”

Zahra Jasmine has a really sexy bod and weighs only 50kg (what, only 50kg?!!!!  OMG!!!– ed).

Zahra Jasmine

She has done quite a lot of magazine photo shoots (Popular, Formen etc), but has only appeared in one film so far (Pulau Hantu 3).

So let’s hope she goes far. Because sweetness always tastes good! Hahaha!

Modus Anomali film review

Modus Anomali film review
What is it with Indonesian filmmakers and their inability to come up with even a remotely plausible plot?

Modus Anomali, the new film by Joko Anwar, merely continues this tradition of incredulity:

“A man is on a holiday in the woods with his wife and two kids when they are surprised by the arrival of an uninvited guest...”

Yep, the woods is such a great place for a holiday. Why would anyone want to go to Bali eh?

“Suddenly, he experiences a time lapse. Before he understands what’s going on, he finds himself separated from his family. And when he starts finding several alarm clocks that seem to have been planted throughout the woods, he knows he has to race with time if he wants to see his family alive.”

Alarm clocks in the woods? Race against time? Now who would have thought of a cliché like that?

‘Not one for the children’, this film is a proverbial ‘gore fest of gratuitous killings’ - so expect to see MANY happy families in the cinema to see this one. The film, however, does have its redeeming features it must be said, especially in the form of Hannah Al Rashid, Izzi Isman (what sort of a name is that?!) and the delectable Marsha Timothy….
 Marsha Timothy and standing akimbo

Sanubari Jakarta feat. Lola Amaria

Bored of the skin flicks, the gore fests and the comedy capers?

If so, then maybe this new Indonesian film is for you.

Sanubari Jakarta - an artschool movie that is sure to prove controversial .

So what’s it about?

Well, here are some famous international movies in the same genre:

~High Art
~The Kids Are All Right
~Better than Chocolate
~Kissing Jessica Stein

Yep, I’m sure you must have got it after the last one – this is a lesbian film – albeit an art school one, naturally – which is supported not only by the Kresna Duta Foundation and the Ardhanary Institute but also by the prestigious Ford Foundation!

By focusing on the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) communities in Indonesia, this film is a heartfelt plea for tolerance and respect in an increasingly dogmatic society.

After all, minorities are human too – whatever the radicals might say - and because of that they deserve to have the same rights and opportunities as everyone else.

So all kudos to the film’s producer, the sensationally curvatous Lola Amaria.

But whether she is able to open minds with this film remains to be seen.

But I tell you what – she’s already opened my eyes! Hahaha!

Sanubari Jakarta stars (sic): Tika Pramesti, Dinda Kanyadewi, Lola Amaria, Alfrits John Robert, Aline Jusrina, Adriyanto Dewo, Billy Christian, Kirana Larasati, Fira Sofiana and Sim F.

Pinkan Mambo’s Youtube ditty and other foibles

Pinkan Mambo. Just what sort of a name is that? It makes her sound like an effeminate and camp version of a noble Zimbabwean king!


But Pinkan’s tastes have never been mainstream and who could ever forget her wonderfully entitled pop ditty Cintaku Di Mutilasi (My Love is Mutilated).

Or her appearance in Selimut Berdarah (Blooded Sheets), an Indonesian horror movie in the “Slasher” vein and not, as you might have first imagined, a film about losing your cherry on wedding night!

And there’s even her love of belly dancing.

The latest news, though, is that Pinkan has become the target of Febrianto Wijaya, an Indonesian football player for the Medan Chiefs.

Well that should be quite a match. Because I’ve heard he’s quite a good player! Hahaha!

Rumah Bekas Kuburan feat. Julia Perez

American men, as a group, seem to be interested in only two things, money and breasts. It seems a very narrow outlook.
~Hedy Lamarr

Julia Perez’s boobs are expanding. And fast. That much is clear from her latest movie, a bizarre horror-cum-skin flick called Rumah Bekas Kuburan or, in English, the House on the Former Graveyard.

In the movie, Julia plays the role of Karina, a woman of very loose moral values who is caught by Larasati (Fifie Buntaran) having an affair with her husband (Danu). During this moment of horn dog madness, Larasati is accidentally killed and whilst that doesn’t seem to raise the interest of the cops it does create a few problems for JuPe down the line.

From here on in, the inimitable Julia Perez really starts to rank up the heat meter, and in one particular scene - which may or may not be a first in Indonesian Cinematography history – she renews her acquaintance with the formerly dead Larasati in a very steamy “threesome” bedroom romp. Lovely!

Chuck in a reincarnation ritual – with the bikini-clad Julia Perez immersing herself in a jasmine-filled swimming pool – and you have all the ingredients to keep the average male cinemagoer in this country clinging tightly to their beloved box of Kleenex.


Starring (sic): Julia Perez, Fifie Buntaran, Toddyzilla, Adi Wahyu, Diah Cempaka, Martina Putri

Xia Aimei movie review

Hypocrisy is a fashionable vice, and all fashionable vices pass for virtue.

Who needs heroes when you have hypocrites? 2012 is barely a week old and I already have that gut feeling that we are in for yet another year of unrelenting media madness with the shameless shenanigans of Indonesia’s celebrity brigade served up on a hot plate for a ravenous and insatiable audience to devour.

Just take a look at the film poster for the upcoming movie, Xia Ai…

… and decide what might motive someone to watch the film:

a) to gain a better understanding of the problems faced by “imported” Chinese girls who work – sometimes against their will – in Jakarta’s booming entertainment business (spas, nightclubs and other places of disrepute).
b) well, you know the other reason, right?

This ruse of drawing attention to a particular issue – ostensibly to take the moral high ground but in reality to titillate a thrill-seeking audience – is one of the oldest in the book, of course, and is best exemplified by the Peterporn saga in which the media did its very best to bring hard core pawnography to every corner of this vast archipelago.

To top it off, Xia Aimei also features a “guest appearance” by Noorman Camaru, the much ridiculed “singing policeman” (ex, actually), who shot to stardom (not literally!) after a YouTube video of him singing the Indian song "Chaiyya Chaiyya" went viral back in April 2011.

Given his previous profession, it would be unfair to expect much from the “crooning copper” and he hardly excels, putting in a performance which is about as memorable as his parents’ spelling is bad (Noorman?, I mean wtf).

Oh well.

2012? Bring it on baby!

Xia Aimei stars (sic): Franda, Samuel Rizal, Olga Lydia, Ferry Salim, Shareefa Danish, Jasmine Julia Machete and Norman Camaru