Stupid bloody names and London Virginia

Question
Hi! My last name is Ritz. We’re gonna have a baby this fall and looking at possible names. My husband and I really like the name “London” but every time I make a name poll, everyone scoffs at the combination because they say it sounds like a hotel. Would this be something you really think she would be teased about in life, and would it be so bad? - Mrs. Ritz

Answer
Be thankful for the surname Ritz! It’s short and easy to spell and pronounce. It has positive associations. Families with names like Crumpacker, Slutz and Pincock envy you. BUT…

… the one thing you can't go putting on the Ritz is a place name! That hotel is sacrosanct and their afternoon tea is legendary! Call your kid “London Ritz” and they’ll grow up being either hated or envied – and probably both! So forget London and go with either Linden or Logan instead!!!

Equally preposterous is the new Indonesian film London Virginia:

London Virginia film

With the huge phallic like Monas in the film, you can't go wrong I suppose.

London Virginia is now playing and stars (sic) Cheverely Amalia, Gading Marten, Sabrina Athika, Abdurahman Arif, Barry Prima, and Pierre Gruno.

Miyabi on a motorcycle foto

Miyabi naik sepeda motor

Looks like Miyabi made some new friends whilst she was in Indonesia.

Let’s hope she wasn’t taken for too long a ride!

Hahaha!

Miyabi picture in Hantu Tanah Kusir movie

Miyabi may find herself in an unfamiliar setting – the Tanah Kusir graveyard to be precise - but this didn’t stop the ex-Japanese AV star from giving everything in a quite simply outstanding performance that will titillate Indonesian cinema goers the length and breadth of the country.

In the film, Miyabi plays a journalist named Pauline, who apart from a love of visiting graveyards to conduct research, also has a liking for tight denim shorts and near see-through tanks tops. Great.

Behind closed doors, the heat meter is ratched up to even higher levels when Miyabi removes most of her clothing besides her bra – but even that is later discarded when she is filmed topless from behind.

All in all, a pretty good film from the fine folk at Maxima Pictures, although Miyabi fans may go home longing for more. Thank God for her old DVDs eh?

 Miyabi picture in Hantu Tanah Kusir movie

 Miyabi picture in Hantu Tanah Kusir movie

Susah Jaga Keperawanan Di Jakarta (It’s Difficult to Stay a Virgin in Jakarta)

What do you call an Afghan virgin. Mever bin laid on

The bright lights beckon. Village life is boring. It’s time to get out.

So the three young village girls put on some makeup and grab a ride in a truck carrying the locally-grown vegetables to madcap Jakarta.

 Susah Jaga Keperawanan Di Jakarta (It’s Difficult to Stay a Virgin in Jakarta)

Upon arriving in the big smelly Durian, they panic – they don’t know anyone who lives here. And worse than that, they have no money!

And then, of course, they bump into a guy who can solve all their problems – although it does mean working in the world’s oldest profession.

An old story you might think. Yes it is. But things quickly change and the plot takes more absurd turns than the ongoing saga involving a dodgy tax official named Gayus.

So what do the three girls do?

Well, they agree. But only provided they remain virgins!

WTF?

But it’s a tricky matter to remain a virgin if you’re on the game, and things rapidly deteriorate when the girls’ first client meets a sticky end in their hotel.

So now they’re fugitives and wishing they had never left home. Just like you, as you gobble down the popcorn...

...so you can get out of the cinema as fast as you possibly can!

Starring (sic)

Masayu Anastasia
Aulia Sarah
Sarah Rizkya
Rifki Balwel
Indra Birowo
Tessy Srimulat

Cut Tari is twittering again!

After a very long hiatus, reluctant porn star Cut Tari is twittering again!!!

This is great news, of course, and I think it shows that Cut Tari is finally laying to rest the ghosts of her cheating past.

 Cut Tari sexy twitter Good for you Cut Tari! But just remember: don’t make the same mistake twice!!!

Along with her 250,000+ fans, you can read her twits here.

Will Wiandra Devi Ozawa be the next internet sensation to achieve stardom?

Her name is Wiandra Devi Ozawa and she comes from the hillside city of Bandung where the climate is cool but the girls are hot and pretty.

And she is the latest internet sensation!!!

From Facebook to Twitter - and from Blogs to Internet forums – the feline charms of this sultry cat have found an appreciative audience.

So move over Sinta and Jojo. Your time is up. Make way for the new Queen of the Internet!!!!

In the woods and looking confused. SpOOKy!!!

Wiandra Devi OzawaSexy is as sexy does.


 Wiandra Devi Ozawa

 Wiandra Devi Ozawa Some say that Wiandra bears an uncanny resemblance to Japanese video star Miyabi. What do you think?

Atiqah Hasiholan and why long legs make women more attractive

Long legs are sexy.

But why?

Well, a recent study by researchers in Poland says it is because long legs show you have good genes and are well nourished.

Just like the exquisite Atiqah Hasiholan

 Atiqah Hasiholan sexy legs

Atiqah Hasiholan: the sexiest legs in Indonesia? Probably.

Fashion note: If you have short legs (most Indonesian women do!), don’t panic! Sure, growing longer legs is probably not an option – but you can find ways to make your legs look longer when compared to your overall body size. High heels are an obvious option, but they can be very painful. Alternatively, keep your dress as short as possible – but within reason of course!

Jennifer Dunn photo melahirkan

There are lots of pregnancy jokes going around at the moment and one of them is that the insatiable Jennifer Dunn has given birth…

Photobucket

… in prison!!!

Hahaha! And whilst on pregnancy jokes here’s one you might find funny:

It was the talk of the town when an 85 year-old man married a 20-year-old women.

Anyway, after a year she went to hospital to give birth.

The nurse came out to congratulate the fellow. "This is amazing. How do you do it at your age?" He answered, "You've got to keep that old motor running."

The following year she gave birth again. The same nurse said, "You really are amazing. How do you do it?" He again replied, "You've got to keep the old motor running."

And the same thing happened the following year. The nurse said, "You must be quite a man." He again responded, "You've got to keep that old motor running."

The nurse then said, "Well, you had better change the oil…

… this one's black."

Hahaha!!!!

Indah Kalalo in Mafia Insyaf

Coy as you like, Indonesian bombshell Indah Kalalo has played down her sensational swimming pool antics in the new movie Mafia Insyaf.

Indah Kalalo in Mafia Insyaf
“The scene in the swimming pool? Just a camera trick! It wasn’t as vulgar as it looked. In acting we have to be serious and show our professionalism.”

Yeah, right. We believe ya. Course we do….

Indah Kalalo in Mafia Insyaf
Way to go, Indah Kala-lo!!!

Cut Meutia and Cut Muthia

Cut Meutia is a national hero, revered for her bravery in resisting the Dutch occupation of her native Aceh, and for which cause she eventually gave her life in 1870.

Not to be confused, of course, with the new modeling sensation Cut Muthia.

 Cut Muthia
Hands up if you think Cut Muthia has what it takes!


 Cut Muthia
Cut Muthia is already damn hot, so why is she wearing a jacket?

Laura Gemser: Blast from the Past

No doubt about it. Laura Gemser is one of the sexiest actresses ever to grace the screen.

 Laura Gemser
Born in Java in 1950, of mixed origins, Laura Gemser remains to this today a unique beauty in the history of motion pictures.

She began her career modeling for fashion magazines, but after one of her pictures fell into the hands of an Italian movie producer, the rest is history, as they say.

Welcome to the world of soft prawn.

Her exotic features won her many fans the world over, but she will always be best remembered for her role as Black Emmanuelle.

My particular favorite is the classic “Emmanuelle And The Last Cannibals” (1977).

 Emmanuelle And The Last Cannibals
In this outrageous gorefeast, Laura Gemser (as the sexy journalist Emmanuelle) joins an expedition into the jungles of the Amazon.

Emmanuelle is of course extremely hot, fresh meat in every possible sense.

Enough to bring out the cannibal in anyone!!

Julia Perez: a true Indonesian Hero!

Great news this!

Sexy TV star Julia Perez has fought off tough competition from the likes of former strongman Suharto and others to be declared as “the nation’s greatest hero”.

Nah. This is not true, unfortunately. But the strange thing is that it should be.

And why? Well, how many of those other heroes on the recently compiled list can claim to have saved as many Indonesian lives as Julie has?

According to the UNDP, there are an estimated 200,000 people living in Indonesia with HIV - about half of them contracting the virus through sex (the other half through sharing needles).

So that means that 100,000 people have HIV because they failed to use condoms.

So just imagine for yourself, then, how many Indonesians are free of HIV because they DID use a condom!

Well, we cannot know the number of course, but it must be in the tens of thousands and probably in the hundreds of thousands. And many of these people may have decided to use a condom only because they were convinced by Julia’s claims that condoms offer a “safe and enjoyable ride.” (traditionally, Indonesian men have rejected condoms on the basis they reduce pleasure)

Julia Perez condomJulia’s brave efforts at promoting condom use have also helped reduce unwanted pregnancies of course – a really huge problem in Indonesia.

Estimates vary but some put the number of abortions in Indonesia at an incredible 2-3 million a year!

Not only are abortions unpleasant but they can also be life threatening in Indonesia as many unwanted pregnancies are aborted using traditional techniques like massage (no, don’t even think about it!) or the consumption of potent jamu medicines.

So, well done Julia and thanks for making Indonesia a much better place!

You are a life saver and a true hero!!!

Jupe, Julia Perez, sexy

List of Hero Candidates (excluding Julia Perez)

1. Former Jakarta Governor Ali Sadikin (West Java)
2. Habib Sayid Al Jufrie (Central Sulawesi)
3. Former president Soeharto (Central Java)
4. Former president Abdurrahman Wahid (East Java)
5. Andi Depu (West Sulawesi)
6. Johanes Leimena (Maluku)
7. Abraham Dimara (Papua)
8. Andi Makkasau (South Sulawesi)
9. Pakubuwono X (Central Java)
10. Sanusi (West Java)

Grace Brenton wins beauty contest thanks to US$2 Bali bikini!!!

Lush Aussie model Grace Brenton attributes her success in winning another bikini competition to her US$2 bikini which she bought in the tropical resort island of Bali!

"It's the biggest joke among my friends," she said.

"But I don’t mind as it seems to be my winning bikini."

But while the bikini is nice, one can’t help but think that other factors have played a part in her deserved success…

Grace Brenton Grace Brenton is blessed with a fine bikini

Olla Ramlan: the most tattooed celebrity in Indonesia?

O lay… O lay o lay o lay...

It’s Olla Ramlan, an Indonesian supermodel with a particularly bizarre inclination –

- she likes to get tattooed scribblings all over her body!!!

And so passionate is she about these tattoos that she has already got 12 of them done!

Two of the tattoos are the names of her mother and father.

This one is her mother’s name:


Olla Ramlan tattooBut that still leaves another 10 unaccounted for.

What they are and - more interestingly – where they are - is open to conjecture, but I think I have a damn good idea where some of them might be! Hahaha!

Below: the view from behind. How many tattoos can you spot?

 Olla Ramlan tattoos And if you said three, you are correct! Well done!

Dira Sugandi shows that Jazz can be sexy too!

Dira Sugandi is a bright ray of light in the drab and dreary world of jazz music.

Forget the boring men in suits - for what we have here is a highly talented artist with a voice so husky and sensual that it will send shivers right down your spine.

And she doesn’t look too bad either – even in some old fisherman’s nets!

 Dira Sugandi

Cathy Sharon in panties (celana dalam)

Two male office workers are leaving the office.

“I can’t wait to get home,” says one of them. “When I do, I’m going to rip my wife’s panties right off!”

“I know the feeling,” his friend says. "I've been working so damn hard lately it feels as if I'm not even married any longer."

“No, I’m serious,” says the first man…

… “they’re tight as hell and hurting me bad!”

Hahaha!!!

And talking of panties, here’s Cathy Sharon…

Cathy Sharon in panties (celana dalam)

Perjaka Terakhir 2 movie with Fahrani

This film takes nonsense to stratospheric levels – or at least to the top of the phallic-looking National Monument in Jakarta – where a kidnapped martial arts teacher in a bikini hopes to be saved by her student.

And that’s all I’m gonna say about this ridiculous film.

(Other than it features the wonderfully leggy Fahrani!!!)

 Perjaka Terakhir 2 movie with Fahrani You’d have a bemused look on your face too, if you had your head between Fahrani’s legs!!!

Cast: Fahrani , Agus Ringgo, Barry Prima, Barri Bintang, Joe Project, Weni Rosaline

Lihat Boleh, Pegang Jangan with Dewi Persik

What a load of old balls this film is! Literally. Cos it’s a film about that most dodgy of Indonesian street foods, Bakso, and how two street-side stalls (warungs) go into battle against each other to become the best meat balls vender in the local kampong.

The plot is dire as you might expect, and the double entendres come so thick and fast that you’ll probably be gagging by the time it’s all over…

 Lihat Boleh, Pegang Jangan with Dewi Persik Dewi Persik certainly likes her bakso.


Lihat Boleh, Pegang Jangan with Dewi PersikLihat Boleh, Pegang Jangan (Look, Don’t Touch) - although Dewi doesn’t agree!

Staring (sic):
Dewi Perssik, Dimas Seto, Steve Emmanuel, Shinta Bachir, Mahadewi

Nadine Alexandra Goddard Ames: Miss Indonesia 2010!!!

Here comes sweet Nadine
I see her face just like the perfect dream

>Arc Angels

Her Indonesian language skills may not be up to much, but that didn’t stop Jakarta’s Nadine from brushing aside 37 other competitors to be crowned Miss Indonesia 2010 at the Jakarta Convention Center, Friday night.


 Nadine Alexandra Goddard Ames: Miss Indonesia 2010!!!
The English born beauty had an expression of complete disbelief and surprise when the announcement of her victory was made – but, then again, that could have simply been because she didn’t understand what the hell was going on.

But Nadine’s victory represents astute thinking on the part of the Indonesian judges, who are probably more than aware that Nadine will be much better able to answer the questions asked to her in English at the Miss Universe 2011 contest that she will represent Indonesia in. She’s also unlikely to have any qualms about showing off her hot bod in a bikini – it was the refusal to do this that shattered poor old Qory’s chances at this year’s event.

So well done Nadine - who also gets the prize of a nice car (alas not a Jag, as befits an English born beauty queen) and a full year’s salary from cosmetics producer Mustika Ratu.

 Nadine Alexandra Goddard Ames: Miss Indonesia 2010!!!
A true beauty queen but Nadine ain’t afraid to show off her “wild side”

Angel Lelga to work with po-rn star!!!

Hot news!

Indonesia’s Angel Lelga – now rebranded as Angeliq - is set to work with a po-rn star!!!

 Sexy Angel Lelga

Impossible you say - but it’s true.

But not in an AV film. And certainly not as a por-no actress.

Rather, the simply heavenly Angel will play the role as the younger sister of American po-rn star Tera Patrick in a new film now being made by KK Dheraj.

Go for it Angel!!!

 Sexy Angel Lelga

 Sexy Angel Lelga

 Sexy Angel Lelga
Angel Lelga in bed, but very much alone...

Aida Saskia on marrying an ustadz, aged 17!!!

Aida Saskia So, finally, Aida Saskia has spoken.

And the tears come streaming down her face as she relives the “ups and downs” of getting married at the tender age of 17.

The story begins nine years ago when Aida, then only a tender 16 years old, was still taking her seat at her local Senior High School.

But school wasn’t her only interest and like many other kids her age she had dreams of becoming famous.

Not many people gave her much chance but she proved them wrong and shot to stardom as the singer of the dangdut song, Ayam Jago.

But little did she know that her scintillating performance had attracted the attention of ustadz Zainuddin MZ.


And it wasn’t her singing he was interested in either!!!

"Aku ketemu sewaktu mengisi acara nyanyi di puncak yang diselenggarakan sebuah organisasi. Waktu itu teman aku bilang bahwa Zainuddin MZ akan datang. Tapi aku tidak percaya, sebab dia itu kan dai besar, tidak mungkinlah datang ke acara dangdutan seperti itu. Tapi ternyata bener dia datang” ungkap Aida.

To cut a long story short, he offered to marry her in a nikah siri (basically an underhand marriage – convenient if things turn pair-shaped and you want to get divorced but don’t want to pay her off).

And, incredibly - for reasons that only she can understand - she accepted.

Lucky Zainuddin!!!

AV star Tera Patrick is currently making a film in Indonesia!!!

No, no, no! Don’t jump to any hasty conclusions! Yes, it’s true that the voluptuous AV starlet from America is making a film in Indonesia, but there is no reason to believe that the film – whose title is being kept secret – is an AV film (Ariel is still in prison, remember!).

Far more likely, of course, is that the film – which is being produced by KK Dheraj – is just another one of those titillating horror flicks that Indonesians love so much. Or perhaps a romantic comedy - not!

So what do we know about Tera Patrick?

Well, that she’s hot. Very, very hot.

Astonishingly good looks got her into a modeling career, and she never really looked back, appearing as a centerfold in Play-boy and as a very popular "Pet of the Month" in Penthaus.

Things quickly progressed and it wasn’t long before she was doing the business in fully-fledged AV films after starting her own production company called "Teravision”.

Tera’s first film “Desperate" was soon followed by 2007’s classic “inTERActive” – the fastest selling Hustler release ever (exclusively available in Indonesia at select Glodok stores!)

Good work, Tera!

A pretty face….


 Tera Patrick

And a sensational full figure…

 Tera Patrick



Tera Patrick will surely thrill Indonesian audiences in her Indonesian film debut!!!

What would you rather have: Syahrini or the new Leica M9 Titanium camera?

Okay; let’s look at the camera first.

 new Leica M9 Titanium
It’s a Leica, which if you didn’t know, makes some of the finest cameras and lenses on the planet - and probably in the entire universe as well. And wow! - the new Leica M9 ‘Titanium’ is so unbelievably sexy and gorgeous, you’ll never want to get your hands off it. Quite simply, an utterly beautiful creation, designed by Leica in association with Walter de’Silva, the chief designer of the Volkswagen Group. Yep: get one of these, and your mates really would turn green with envy! Performance is also exceptional if you pair it up with the wonderful Leica Summilux-M 35mm f/1.4 ASPH lens. Only 500 made. Cons: price tag of a cool £19,800 (Rp280 million)!!!

As for the lovely Syahrini, well, she is also a pleasure to behold - but unlike the manmade titanium body of the Leica camera, her curves and exquisite lines are undoubtedly a heavenly creation. Get her on your arm – rather than in your pocket - and again you’d be the envy of your mates. As for the cons? Pretty much the same as with the Leica, I’m afraid…

 Syahrini pantai

 Syahrini

 Syahrini

Julia Perez and her tattoos

Do you realize that in about 40 years, we'll have thousands of old ladies running around with tattoos?

And one of them will be Julia Perez.

She is famous for the scorpion tattooed onto the lower left of her stomach.

 Julia Perez in red bikini and tattoo

 Julia Perez scorpion tattoo
What will Julia’s grandchildren think of that?!!!

And Julia has also had the back of her neck tattooed:

 Julia Perez leher tattoo
Nice!

There are also reports that Julia is thinking about getting a rose tattoo done on one of her boobs. But let’s hope not: it may look okay now but in another 40 years she might find she has a long-stemmed rose in a hanging basket!

Note: scorpion tattoos are very popular among members of street gangs as the design is said to afford the bearer protection from danger. More ominously still, the scorpion has long been an emblem of treachery, death, envy and wickedness, as a result of the nasty sting from its tail which can be fatal. So be careful if you get too close to Julia. Ouch!!!!

Asmirandah in Dalam Mihrab Cinta

Personal beauty is a greater recommendation than any letter of reference.
>Aristotle

Hell’s Bells.

The extremely lush Asmirandah has landed a job as a mathematics lecturer, aged just 20! Or at least that’s the role she’s got in the new film Dalam Mihrab Cinta.

Her classes are really popular of course - and it’s not only the kids who are queuing up to get into her classes. So are their dads!

 sexy Asmirandah 'We're going to do this over, and over, and over again, until we get it right', says sexy teacher Asmirandah to her naughty students (all 75 of them and their dads)…


sexy Asmirandah Oh no! Someone’s tied up the teacher!

Who would spend a night in Paris Hilton in Jakarta?

Hello darlings. So dissappointed [sic] to miss all my fans in Indonesia. I promise to come back soon. I love you all! Love Paris xoxo.

That was the tweet that crushed the hopes of the many Paris Hilton fans in Jakarta who hoped to get a glimpse of, or even possibly grope (This is Indonesia), the world famous pop tart at the planned opening of the Paris Hilton store in Grand Indonesia:

 Paris Hilton store in Grand Indonesia

And what a shame Paris hasn’t come to Jakarta! Because now we’ll never know who the American starlet would have gotten off with during her planned stay in the Big Durian!

But Paris is said to like women as much as men:

 Paris Hilton cium
Paris plays tonsil tennis with fellow celebrated vixon, Lindsay Lohan.

So I reckon I know who Paris would have wanted to bed in Jakarta.

But don’t worry, Julia – you’ll get your chance. There will be a next time okay!!! Hahaha!