Xia Aimei movie review

Hypocrisy is a fashionable vice, and all fashionable vices pass for virtue.
~Moliere

Who needs heroes when you have hypocrites? 2012 is barely a week old and I already have that gut feeling that we are in for yet another year of unrelenting media madness with the shameless shenanigans of Indonesia’s celebrity brigade served up on a hot plate for a ravenous and insatiable audience to devour.

Just take a look at the film poster for the upcoming movie, Xia Ai…

… and decide what might motive someone to watch the film:

a) to gain a better understanding of the problems faced by “imported” Chinese girls who work – sometimes against their will – in Jakarta’s booming entertainment business (spas, nightclubs and other places of disrepute).
b) well, you know the other reason, right?

This ruse of drawing attention to a particular issue – ostensibly to take the moral high ground but in reality to titillate a thrill-seeking audience – is one of the oldest in the book, of course, and is best exemplified by the Peterporn saga in which the media did its very best to bring hard core pawnography to every corner of this vast archipelago.

To top it off, Xia Aimei also features a “guest appearance” by Noorman Camaru, the much ridiculed “singing policeman” (ex, actually), who shot to stardom (not literally!) after a YouTube video of him singing the Indian song "Chaiyya Chaiyya" went viral back in April 2011.

Given his previous profession, it would be unfair to expect much from the “crooning copper” and he hardly excels, putting in a performance which is about as memorable as his parents’ spelling is bad (Noorman?, I mean wtf).

Oh well.

2012? Bring it on baby!

Xia Aimei stars (sic): Franda, Samuel Rizal, Olga Lydia, Ferry Salim, Shareefa Danish, Jasmine Julia Machete and Norman Camaru

Arwah Kuntilanak Duyung Movie feat. Dewi Perssik

Linda and Ardo meet on a sandy Java beach.

But one thing leads to another and it’s not long before the two lovebirds are “wiling away the hours” in the little beachside shack that Ardo has banged together especially for their trysts.

Meanwhile, the local ojek rider, Sule, has been up to no good and does the unthinkable by chucking his wife’s bloody placenta into the Java Sea!!!

Horror of all horrors!!!

But this outrageous act of thoughtless vandalism does not go down too well with a local Indonesian mermaid who almost immediately bursts out of the sea in complete indignation.

From here on in it gets progressively worse - although it must be said that the multitalented Dewi Perssik plays the sea nymph role to utter perfection– almost as if the part had been specially written for her.

And you know what? Perhaps it had!

Dewi Perssik is hot property either in the water or on land!

Regent urges Jade and Nyomi Marcela to come home to Tegal!!!

OMG!! This is hilarious.

The Regent of Tegal, Ikmal Jaya, has invited two of the town’s most famous daughters to come back from America to their Central Java hometown, which is not known for much expect its simple eateries called warteg (Warung Tegal).

"Jade and Nyomi Marcela, please come home to Tegal. I'm waiting for you. I'll help you find a job here if you are willing to leave America," urged the regent.

But isn’t this just a little bit too late?

Because both Jade and Nyomi Marcela have been making AV films in the US for many years now - notching up well over 230 fiery encounters.

The sisters are particularly revered for their candid antics in such AV classics as Fresh Hot Bab*s # 17 and the eye-opening Di*ty Little S*x Br*ts # 04 in which the irrepressible Jade Marcela takes on David Hardman and Pat Myne at the same time!

And more to the point – what exactly does the Tegal Regent expect the Marcella sisters to do in a place like Tegal?

Work as waitresses in a warteg? Or perhaps make a film in one?

“Served up on a hot plate in Tegal # 3”.

Yeah that could well be worth watching ….

Hahaha!

What would she do in Tegal?!!!

Poconggg Juga Pocong movie (feat. Saphira Indah)

OMG! Please save us! Yet another film about bloody pocongs!!!!

And there you have it - a creature walking around with what looks like an oversized dim sum on his shoulders!

But this is no ordinary pocong, you’ll understand, but a poconggg – a sort of pocong without the balls, unable or unwilling to scare humans and, worst of all, scared of other supernatural creatures like ghosts.

But luckily for poconggg, his path crosses that of Kunti (!!!), a sensual female vampire – or better known as kuntilanak – a type of creature which lures its human victims into its snare by moaning salaciously before murdering them without mercy.

So, will the poconggg get to have his way with the lovely Kunti? Or will she spurn his advances?

Well you’ll just have to watch the film to find out!

Saphira Indah is the lovely Kunti in this comedy cum horror flick.

Shah Raline in a love triangle?

Well, would you believe it?

More mayhem in Twitterland!

This time a rather nasty spat between lovebirds Edrian Aji Prihartanto (Anji) and Wina Natalia!

Through the social media tool Twitter, which has become very popular in Indonesia, Wina let loose in spectacular fashion, blaming Indonesian wunderbabe Raline Shah of getting a piece of her man! (albeit denying it later!)

But Wina didn’t stop there and, according to reports, she even accused Anji of doing the unthinkable - impregnating the gorgeous Raline!

Anji, for his part, was - like all bad men - unrepentant and brushed aside the accusations as if he had simply been accused of taking the last chocolate bar from the fridge.

Nonetheless, any transgressions on Anji’s part would be understandable. They really would…

Raline Shah has legs and she knows how to use them it seems.